If you'd rather not hear about my adventures in squirting, please stop reading now.


... Not that I really have any adventures in squirting.

Let's back up a minute.

I really want to be able to squirt.

Not wait, further than that.

Does everyone know what squirting is? Read this.

Now that we're all on the same page, I was sure Mother Nature would want me to squirt. She gave me a high sex drive, a strong awareness of my body, and an openness to sex. It seems only fair that I could summon the sex gods to display an orgasm like no other.

So, unbeknownst to anyone, I've been on a mission to squirt. Mr. Wonderful provides me with very good, deep, star-inducing climaxes, yet I wondered if there was an even better spot that was hiding, tucked away somewhere that we were both missing.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands, so to speak.

For the past few weeks, maybe 1 or twice a week, I'd load in some.... movies... and get myself in the mood. The key, I've noticed, is to only watch enough to get excited. It you watch for two long, you start to notice the repetitiveness and the bad acting. Sometimes less is better.

On the other hand, my body is still quivering from Stripper Stephanie, and her apparent twin, Irving Girl. Who needs porn?

I've tried a variety of toys, and a variety of positions. Yet, not a drop - well, perhaps a drop, but not a gush, as I've been led to believe is the norm. I've hit what I think is the right spot. I've gotten the 'gotta pee' sensation. I've also hit my cervix a few times, which is rather difficult, since it's abnormally high up. Just goes to show how committed I was. To science, of course.

So, I've come to the conclusion that I am... it pains me to admit... a non-squirter. I'm dry as the Sahara. Well, I'm not dry. I'm more like.... a tar pond.

Erh....

Anyway, if there are any squirters out there, I'd love to hear from you.